


Ineffable

by ghee (sabakunoghee)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Humor, Kazekage Gaara (Naruto), Light Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 18:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17668025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabakunoghee/pseuds/ghee
Summary: Sometimes, Rock Lee thought that he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve any of these.T rated | Canon/Slightly OOC | Romance, Fluff, Hurt/ComfortFifteen drabbles about Rock Lee, Gaara, and the journey of moving on.





	Ineffable

**#01**

He wasn’t capable of loving, to be loved—or, _love_ , in general.

(Also, derivative forms of it.)

 

It means, Sabaku no Gaara struggled more than any normal human to comprehend basic interaction… _in a romantic term_. Affection. Admiration. The adoration. It also means every single Rock Lee’s movement had to be done in extreme caution. His words. His tone. His touch, to be exact. He knew; Gaara was never familiar with physical contact and forced him to do so could cause collateral damage.

 

 _Literally_.

 

 

 

**#02**

It was a common issue that there was one specific gentleman who Gaara laid his green eyes on.

 

Took a year for the brunette to realize that he ‘likes’ that talented man in an _unusual_ way. Another year (and a couple of incidents) to bring them closer. Another year and some small yet solemn talks which led them to mutual infatuation. And, in their fourth year of knowing each other, he was forced to swallow a bitter pill. The man he secretly ‘liked’ left him with nothing but despair and agony.

 

Sabaku no Gaara was the most broken-hearted person when Hyuuga clan buried their descendant. It wasn’t shown on his stoic exterior. He shed no tears, yet his gaze was empty. He didn’t mourn, but his hands coiled into guilty fists. He shadowed his grief, which he thought, _flawless_ , but Rock Lee knew.

 

He _always_ knows.

 

 

 

**#03**

Because he had loved him longer than he ever knew,

 

“—did it _hurt_?”

 

They were twelve back then. Rock Lee was too optimistic and Gaara was too proud. When they tried their best to take each other down, a sudden realization hit them in two different way. Gaara had to admit that his _ninjutsu_ wasn’t impenetrable and his sand wasn’t invincible. Rock Lee was the first man who taught Gaara about physical pain. He could take that, he could live with that. But he wasn’t ready to face the other type of pain—humiliation Rock Lee gave him by asking about being ‘hurt’. From a boy who was almost dead because he shattered _his_ bones into pieces. From a _dying_ , weak _shinobi_.

 

“Speak to yourself.”

 

He mocked, then walked away in anger. But he still _cared_. His action was a total opposite from his sayings. The next morning, Gaara visited Rock Lee. And the day after, _and the day after_.

 

Rock Lee was sure that Gaara was an angel of death. Now, Gaara acts as _both;_ his angel _and_ his death.

 

 

 

**#04**

He loved him _too_ much.

 

The ‘love’ made him joined special force to rescue the Kazekage. The ‘love’ sent him to war in order to get the _jinchuuriki_ back. The ‘love’ helped him painted a faint smile every time he caught the jade-eyed shared a moment with his teammate. The ‘love’ gave him the fortitude to cheer him up when they found out that his best friend was no longer alive. The ‘love’ he had was bigger than his own heart.

 

He took good care of him, even though _his_ eyes focused on someone else. He already knew that that green, cold-stone emerald was into Hyuuga Neji. But he was fine with that. Because that was _how_ he loved him. Rock Lee was the one only man in this world who could _love_ Gaara in such a way.

 

 

 

**#05**

“Welcome to Konoha, Kazekage-sama!” As usual, Rock Lee was assigned as Konoha’s official guide for Gaara and his siblings. Tenten was absent that day due to her special mission as a weapon specialist.

 

Rock Lee’s overexcited greeting made Gaara choked out a laugh,

 

“Lee,” his baritone replied softly, “I heard you undergo a special _ninjutsu_ training; it’s nice to have you here,” the Fifth gave him a friendly chuckle. Rock Lee was energetic and passionate as usual. His presence gave Gaara a ray of joy and comfort, “I hope my attendance doesn’t bother schedule.”

 

“Kakashi- _sensei_ told me that you’ll stay here for five days and the summit will be held tomorrow—and, _no,_ you’re not bothering me at all. I personally asked the Hokage to be your companion,” as he signed the gatekeepers to close the doorway behind them, Rock Lee led his special guest to the city. The Eight Gate expert was attentive with his next question, “I assume you’re free today, Gaara- _kun_?”

 

“Just like _usual_ ,” the red-haired tried to hide his true emotion, “—I’d like to visit _him_ first.”

 

Rock Lee’s excitement vanished, but he nodded nevertheless, “Allow me to escort you.” A wide grin buried jealousy. He intentionally walked a step faster than the Kage; strolled on the pathway which led to Yamanaka’s flower shop, bought a bouquet of marigold, and accompanied him to Hyuuga Neji’s grave.

 

 

 

**#06**

Time heals, time flies.

 

Took a year for the brunette to accept the reality that the long-haired gentleman he once ‘liked’ was long gone. Another year to hold on loose, to let go, to move on. Another year to open up his heart and let the sunshine in; and when he did that, Rock Lee was there. His bright smile, his warm gesture, his sincere manner, _all_ of him, and Gaara wasn’t able to escape his charm. To think that Rock Lee could _hate_ and hold grudges against him, who was put him on the verge of death; but he just chose not to.

 

Rock Lee wasn’t the ‘nice guy’ he could live with—but the one he couldn’t live _without_.

 

 

 

**#07**

“Gaara- _kun_ , would you,” _exhale_ , “—MARRY ME?”

 

The man in green spandex was on his knees. Both of his hands reached the other man’s. His big, deep, pitch-black eyes glistened with hope and determination whilst the grip tightened. _He wouldn’t let go_.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

“SERIOUS _LEE_?”

 

“...”

 

“ _Kami-sama_ , I swear to You that I will make this man, Sabaku no Gaara, with all my power, my heart, my soul, live happy-LEE ever after!” A sunset suddenly appeared behind their back; at eleven AM.

 

“…”

 

Godaime Kazekage regretted his decision already.

 

 

 

**#08**

It was intense—

 

To be acknowledged _legally_ by both of their villages, Gaara had to write a _lot_ of justifications; so their remarkable union was accepted equally as opposite-sex marriage. (At this point, people of Hidden Sand were shocked, but not surprised.) They decided to hold a small party with a limited invitation at Sunagakure— _that_ , or Temari and Kankuro would decapitate the groom right away. Not that Rock Lee refused the idea, though. He enjoyed the celebration, the food, the (alcoholic) beverage, the attention (he deserved) from his close friends and teammate, and of course— _this_ moment. Their first night.

 

“I- I’m not sure if I could do this right—“

 

When Gaara muttered in a low tone, with a slight embarrassment painted on his face, Rock Lee knew he had to do something. He had prepared himself for this. For his _spouse_ , obviously, since he fathomed that Gaara couldn’t stand being touched—he spent _decades_ in his overprotective chakra-infused sand.

 

“Hush, Gaara- _kun._ You don’t have to worry about it,” Lee spoke softly, “—we’ll be fine.”

 

“Lee,” he sighed heavily, “You don’t get it, I never- I mean, I have no experience and I’ll ruin—“

 

The black-haired landed his index finger on his Gaara’s small lips, “I’m here.”

 

Two words melted his hesitation.

 

Gaara took his time to stare at Lee’s both beautiful obsidian eyes, then nodded obediently. Rock Lee fully understood that this juncture was crucial for their relationship, a huge turning point for Gaara who used to set a strict border concerning personal space. He inhaled deeply whilst took a very careful approach to his eternal companion; slowly brushed his terracotta hair, caressed his flushed cheek, lightly pecked the lonely scar on his forehead. Gaara let go a soft moan as he began to undress; he unbuttoned his deep-red wedding suit, exposed his round shoulder with silky, porcelain-like skin—

 

“-wait, waitwait _wait_ —“

 

Unexpectedly, the _taijutsu_ specialist was the one who asked for a _pause_.

 

(—and that night, Rock Lee lost his consciousness instead of his virginity.)

 

 

 

**#09**

“You are—“ _a blasphemy_ , Temari folded her arms in front of her chest, “…no, really, what kind of man who suffered from massive bloodless just because witnessing his partner’s naked body.”

 

Kankuro didn’t even try to hide his blustered laugh. His big sister mocked Rock Lee in every way she could and it was pure entertainment. Too bad, Gaara was not around; his obligation as a Kage limited his freedom, including a quick visit to his sick husband. Rock Lee was laid there. On a medical gurney as he was just moved from the emergency unit—he was soulless, had no intention to keep on living as if he was trapped in eternal _genjutsu_ which sucked his spirit out. His in-laws told him that Gaara had to explain _twice_ about the symptoms to make the paramedics understand what was _really_ going on.

 

_Oh, the awkwardness._

 

“You won’t get it,” Rock Lee didn’t have enough balls to look at Temari’s face, “Both of you are his siblings, you guys used to see him every day, but I—“ his palms covered his blushing face, “—I can’t stand it! It was too much! He was so beautiful I can’t control myself, I’m such a disgrace to this family!”

 

 _Really._ Temari didn’t expect this level of adoration, “You. Even that bastard Shikamaru could handle _me_ and our sweet honeymoon went well,” the blonde said it proudly, almost in a tone of mockery.

 

“…”

 

“It means you’re not even _half_ as cute as Gaara—“

 

Kankuro was blown away to Konoha a second after.

 

 

 

**#10**

“Sometimes, I really want to unmarry him.”

 

Temari blinked repeatedly, “To _what_ him?”

 

“Cancel our marriage. Undo the vow. Reset everything we’ve been through,” Gaara was playing with this straw, stirred his ice lemonade, added two cubes of sugar, ended up _not_ sipping it, “—being single again.” He refused to use ‘Lee’ after his gifted name, though. But ‘Sabaku no Rock’ was worse, so-

 

“…” the blonde squeezed the bridge of her nose, “There was an exact term to address that, you know.”

 

“Uh- I’m not dumb. I know the ‘D-word’. I just—“

 

“YOU’RE MAKING THIS MORE CONFUSING!” a soprano echoed as she snapped; _really_. She wasn’t familiar with the ‘D-word’ except for— _you know_ , “You mean, the divorce. Just say it like a man!”

 

“I can’t!” Gaara shouted, “I- I love him too much to say that filthy word.”

 

“…”

 

 _Call a lawyer_ , she thought.

 

Was it even possible to serve your own family member with divorce papers?

 

 

 

**#11**

Every time he saw Rock Lee did (impossible) high-intensity interval training, Gaara sighed.

 

 _How could I marry this guy_ , he shook his head and decided not to interfere. But when the night fell, the moon halved in the velvet sky, and Rock Lee offered his chest as a substitute for his usual pillow, Gaara instantly put his head on his spouse’s muscular torso and thought, _this is exactly why._

 

 

 

**#12**

Every time he saw Gaara behind his office desk, being all busy as a Kage, Rock Lee sighed.

 

 _I don’t deserve him_ , he focused on his rapid exercise to improve himself. Then, he went back to their residence; waiting for his spouse to come home. Gaara knocked on the door at ten in the evening—dead-tired and shoved his face on Rock Lee’s board shoulder, it made him thought, _but he needs me_.

 

 

 

**#13**

“Lee.”

 

“Yes, Gaara-kun?”

 

“Are you going to spend _all_ of your mission fees for bandages?” Gaara’s hand held a woven container while his eyes stared at his husband. The basket was almost full with rolls of white, thin, strip-fabric. They lived together for months now, and the Fifth still didn’t understand Rock Lee’s obsession with being injured— “I know, you need this to support your joints while you’re training, but _twenty_ rolls?”

 

Rock Lee shook his head, “These, for my hands, those, for my ankles, that one for my left thigh and I assure you, I can’t use the same cloth every day, it’ll be messy and dirty and smelly,” he gave Gaara his signature ‘nice guy’ pose, “Besides its main function, I should say that this is my fashion statement.”

 

“Fashion statement,” he wished he had eyebrow so he could lift them; he _needed_ it right now for the sake of strong facial expression, “That was rich, coming from you.”

 

“Said the guy who wears under layer mesh on a daily basis.” Rock Lee smirked playfully.

 

“—wait, are you questioning _my_ fashion preferences?” Gaara snorted.

 

Meanwhile, outside the shop, Temari was trying her best not to wield her _tessen_.

 

 

 

**#14**

“Kazekage-sama,” long platinum-blonde hair was wiggling in her ponytail, as Yamanaka Ino tilted her head, “Welcome to our shop. Is there anything I could assist?” _He came again_ , she left her work for a while to greet the customer, _but, he’s alone? Where’s Lee?_ Her light blue eyes squinted a little.

 

Gaara nodded, “Am I interrupting your work?”

 

“The bouquet can wait,” Ino replied with a big grin, “—marigold, I assume?”

 

For years, he came to this flower shop _with_ Rock Lee but not _for_ him. His fellow _kunoichi_ knew. The entire village knew. But what they didn’t was the fact that Gaara, this time, had already moved on. He shook his head and pointed his fingers at a bush of white roses; shocking Ino, “Are they fresh?”

 

“Uh- yes, yes they are, Sai helped me picked them up this morning,” a bit rushed, still in confusion, Ino approached the vase Gaara was spotted, “See? You can smell their strong enchanting scent.”

 

“—I don’t really understand, but,” his voice was calm, but Ino could hear a trace of happiness in it, “They’re perfect.” Gaara smiled gently, “Can you wrap and send them to—Hokage’s office?”

 

_Ara—_

 

“You clearly want to cheer _someone_ up, don’t you?” Ino teased while preparing the bouquet, “I will leave the stems exposed for a polished look, ah, which paper and ribbon would you prefer, this or—“

 

She was too excited; Gaara didn’t seem to know _why_.

 

 

 

**#15**

He was happy and they both knew,

 

Sometimes, Rock Lee thought that he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve _any_ of these. He didn’t know that loving someone could make him this strong—this determined. Gaara was asleep beside him and all he could do was staring at his beautiful face. His short deep-red hair. His flawless pale skin. His _everything_. He could do this all night. All day. He loved _him_ too much that sometimes he was afraid to sleep and found out that he was dreaming. But _he_ was real. Gaara who loved him back was solid and breathing; Rock Lee embraced his spouse’s skinny figure carefully—he didn’t want to wake him up.

 

 _I’m sorry, Neji-kun_. As he holds Gaara tightly, Rock Lee sighed, _for this once, let me win against you._

 

_I’ll take good care of him for you._

.

.

.

 

“—A dropout will _beat_ a genius through hard work.”

When he really did it, Rock Lee felt—

.

.

.

.

.

[ i n e f f a b l e; **_ends_** here. ]

**Author's Note:**

> inˈefəb(ə)l ; adjective, too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words.  
> Art : http://hikanon1336.tumblr.com/


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